If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
