1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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