New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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