You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
