no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
