after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
