she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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