Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
