lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My dick has a subreddit
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
