Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
