no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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