My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
