Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
