I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
