Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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