FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i need to put some appletini on your dick
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
