we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
