Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
