I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
