He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just google imaged poop.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
