Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
