do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
