I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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