if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
