we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
