Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
