The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
