I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
