You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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