I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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