I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she told me i tasted like america
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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