he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
