Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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