He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
