I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
