Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
