oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
