first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
