Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
