she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
