on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
