I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
