lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
