There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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