You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
