Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
