Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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