she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
