Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
