How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
