I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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