I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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