come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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