so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
