Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
