Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthdayâ€
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
