i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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