hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize