Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
