My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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