my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
