CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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