All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
