I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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