And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
